Raoul Moat is in his late thirties and is on his way to heaven, he is regarded as the first person to actively go to war with the Metropolitan Police, who sound very camp, but in reality have the power to kill and attack people without being held to account. God is preparing to give away his favourite seat, because Moat would not expect anything less.
When were you happiest?
On the riverbank in Rothbury
What is your greatest fear?
Cucumbers
What is your earliest memory?
I just remember black out, then waking up in the woods and then being text the news I'd killed my ex-girlfriend and shot two others - one a fucking pig!
Which living person do you most admire, and why?
Harry Roberts...he is our friend, he kills coppers.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
shagging about
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
I've not got a quick trigger finger like 'Dirty' Harry Callaghan. The only cool Peeler
What was your most embarrassing moment?
Not exactly mine, but there is egg on the face of the North Cumbria police department.
Aside from a property, what's the most expensive thing you've bought?
Membership to Blokes Liberation Front
What is your most treasured possession?
Double barreled shotgun...lol
Where would you like to live?
Strangeways prison
If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
Raoul Moat - myself
What would your super power be?
invisibility
What makes you unhappy?
10 Police snipers cornering me between a lake and a tennis court, it sucks.
What is your most unappealing habit?
stealing cucumbers from local farms...I ain't a faggot!!!
What is your favourite book?
Free Radical - Vince Cable
What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?
Stone Cold Steve Austin WWF World Heavyweight Champion
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Shooting coppers
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
Gazza - I should have been there more for you pal!
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
RAOUL MOAT
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
'It wasn't me...it was the voice in my head.'
What has been your biggest disappointment?
MI5 denial of my service in the Falkland Wars.
If you could edit your past, what would you change?
Being released from prison.
When did you last cry?
In Kenya doing work for Christian Aid.
How often do you have sex?
I caught a goat the other day...must I go into detail.
What is the closest you've come to death?
LOL
Tell us a secret.
I'm a one man army, guns don't harm me.
