Greetings Travellers,
Another visit to the cinema today, to watch Fish Tank, meant I collected the pamphlet with all the new films being released in the next few weeks. There is a heavy load of good films comin' in the future - very excited.
First up, is The Army of Crime, directed by Robert Guediguain, who I've sadly never heard of before, but the movie was part of the Official Selection at the Cannes film festival. The cinemography appears to be in similar in vain to Romanzo Criminale and Meserine: Killer Instinct, which are only average and poor films. But, I'm not one to judge.
Released: 2/10/09 (Same date as Invention of Lying)
Secondly, Thirst, the story of a priest who becomes a Vampire, a shit sounding concept but a promosing looking movie nonetheless. Thirst is directed by Park Chan Wook, director of Oldboy, the best film I never saw after Amazon ruined me. The trailer looks cool, Wesley Snipes is shitting it in his little prison cell. There seems to be quite a large output of Vampire movies this year; Let the Right one in, Sexy Women Vampire Killers or whatever that piece of shit was called, Blood, Vampires and Science that is being released shortly as well.
Released: 23/10/09
I will make this one my last one or I'd have covered every interesting looking film for the next month and I need to write more blogs! This is a film that Mark Critchley should go and watch, and I might even take a quick holiday to Liverpool so I can go to the Abandon Normal Devices Film Festival. Yeah, the movies is: The Yes Men - Keep It Slick: Inflitrating Capitalism With the Yes Men. A very wordy title!
The Yes Men, keep it short, follows a group of political activist who create spoof events, websites and conferences and highlight how corporations and governmental organisations often act in dehumanising ways towards the public.
It's being held at Art and Design Academy, Liverpool John Moores University - 24th Oct/25th Oct and it's free.
23/09/2009
Nick Love and Danny Dyer - Critics of the Critics
Nick Love and Danny Dyer have a audio clip out, from the extras of Outlaw the film, and they complain about how they've been "cunted...by fucking broadsheets". Danny Dyer is way out of his league (Unibond Cockney) and just says "hmmm...exactly...hmmm....init" all the way through. But, he is a fackin' geezer.
22/09/2009
Mark it Zero
Do people take pleasure in taking two of the best clips in a film of all time and totally destroy them?
Coen Brothers and John Goodman deserve more respect than this shit.
And, let me tell you something bandero, you flash a piece out on the lane and i'll take it out your hand and shove it up your arse till it goes click.....8yr olds, Dude. Instead of bringing the Dude back they should do a film about Jesus, what a guy.
In Coen Brothers related news I recently watched Fargo again and it was the funniest I've ever seen it. That's all.
Coen Brothers and John Goodman deserve more respect than this shit.
And, let me tell you something bandero, you flash a piece out on the lane and i'll take it out your hand and shove it up your arse till it goes click.....8yr olds, Dude. Instead of bringing the Dude back they should do a film about Jesus, what a guy.
In Coen Brothers related news I recently watched Fargo again and it was the funniest I've ever seen it. That's all.
Oh...
Isn't it funny when people get outed for filthy little sex pests, it's usually fascists as well - Hitler and Mosley, and one of them only had one ball.
This article is from the Manchester Evening News - the perks of livin' in AMERICA!
A MARRIED dentist pranced around in a leopard-print thong shouting 'get a load of that' and had sex with a nurse at his surgery, a hearing was told.
Anthony Barton, 36, developed a pattern of `sexually motivated behaviour' towards four dental nurses at the dental practice where he worked in Wigan over eight years, it was said.
He regularly groped their bottoms and asked them inappropriate questions, the General Dental Council heard. And, it was told, he cavorted with one nurse - while other members of staff were upstairs.
Barton faces 17 charges in relation to his conduct towards the nurses from 2000 to last year.
Lydia Barnfather, for the GDC, said: “The conduct towards these dental nurses, the council says, shows a pattern of behaviour sexually motivated to transgress both the verbal and physical boundaries and standards to be expected of an individual in his professional position.”
Dental nurse Ms A claims Mr Barton would pull at her knickers as she bent over and try to undo her bra through her tunic.
Miss Barnfather said: “It was indecent touching by itself, however these things were accompanied by conversations of a sexual nature and against a backdrop of unwelcome sexual references.”
She said Mr Barton then began a consensual affair with a dental nurse Ms B.
'Cavorted'
It was claimed the pair cavorted while practice partners were upstairs.
Another dental nurse, Ms D, once walked in on the couple in a ‘compromising position’, it was said. Barton is also alleged to have inappropriately touched another dental nurse, Ms C.
The allegations finally came to light when Ms D complained.
She said Mr Barton had touched her bottom in his surgery room and showed her pictures of celebrities exposing themselves, in between seeing patients.
She saw Mr Barton prancing around in a leopard-print thong, shouting ‘get a lot of that’, the panel heard.
Mr Barton is alleged to have told her she would ‘go far’ if she did not report his behaviour.
Resigned
In June last year, Ms D reported the alleged sexual touching to the practice manager and subsequently the partners.
Mr Barton admitted in a staff interview that ‘I’m guilty of crossing the line’ but declared that ‘if no one had found out it may have happened again’.
He then resigned in August last year, and his partners reported him to the GDC.
Mr Barton denies various allegations that he touched Ms A, Ms C and Ms D. He also claims he did not have a sexual relationship with Ms B during surgery hours.
Mr Barton admits that his conduct towards Ms B was unprofessional and inappropriate and that his conduct towards Ms D was also indecent.
Mr Barton, of Porch House Farm, Runcorn Road, Higher Walton, Warrington, denies misconduct and that his fitness to practise is impaired.
He faces being struck off if he is found guilty.
Proceeding.
This article is from the Manchester Evening News - the perks of livin' in AMERICA!
A MARRIED dentist pranced around in a leopard-print thong shouting 'get a load of that' and had sex with a nurse at his surgery, a hearing was told.
Anthony Barton, 36, developed a pattern of `sexually motivated behaviour' towards four dental nurses at the dental practice where he worked in Wigan over eight years, it was said.
He regularly groped their bottoms and asked them inappropriate questions, the General Dental Council heard. And, it was told, he cavorted with one nurse - while other members of staff were upstairs.
Barton faces 17 charges in relation to his conduct towards the nurses from 2000 to last year.
Lydia Barnfather, for the GDC, said: “The conduct towards these dental nurses, the council says, shows a pattern of behaviour sexually motivated to transgress both the verbal and physical boundaries and standards to be expected of an individual in his professional position.”
Dental nurse Ms A claims Mr Barton would pull at her knickers as she bent over and try to undo her bra through her tunic.
Miss Barnfather said: “It was indecent touching by itself, however these things were accompanied by conversations of a sexual nature and against a backdrop of unwelcome sexual references.”
She said Mr Barton then began a consensual affair with a dental nurse Ms B.
'Cavorted'
It was claimed the pair cavorted while practice partners were upstairs.
Another dental nurse, Ms D, once walked in on the couple in a ‘compromising position’, it was said. Barton is also alleged to have inappropriately touched another dental nurse, Ms C.
The allegations finally came to light when Ms D complained.
She said Mr Barton had touched her bottom in his surgery room and showed her pictures of celebrities exposing themselves, in between seeing patients.
She saw Mr Barton prancing around in a leopard-print thong, shouting ‘get a lot of that’, the panel heard.
Mr Barton is alleged to have told her she would ‘go far’ if she did not report his behaviour.
Resigned
In June last year, Ms D reported the alleged sexual touching to the practice manager and subsequently the partners.
Mr Barton admitted in a staff interview that ‘I’m guilty of crossing the line’ but declared that ‘if no one had found out it may have happened again’.
He then resigned in August last year, and his partners reported him to the GDC.
Mr Barton denies various allegations that he touched Ms A, Ms C and Ms D. He also claims he did not have a sexual relationship with Ms B during surgery hours.
Mr Barton admits that his conduct towards Ms B was unprofessional and inappropriate and that his conduct towards Ms D was also indecent.
Mr Barton, of Porch House Farm, Runcorn Road, Higher Walton, Warrington, denies misconduct and that his fitness to practise is impaired.
He faces being struck off if he is found guilty.
Proceeding.
"This is the greatest movie ever made"
Ricky Gervais. What a wild card!
The Invention of Lying:
Released: 02/10/09
Le Donk and Scor-Zay-Zee is Shane Meadow's follow on film from the disappointing and pointless Somers Town. This film doesn't look amazing, it isn't a new or original project, been done before, but I'll watch this anyhow to keep up with the [cinema] Jones'. 0/5 for Originality.
Released: 09/10/09
Everyone says that Superbad is awesome or okay, never watched it, just word of mouth init. Watched this trailer, didn't laugh once. Probably wouldn't even watch the trailer if I was you, just thought I'd put this up here to say I don't like the trailer. Also, the park leader is quite obviously a John Cleese character. 0/5 for originality.
Out now.
The Invention of Lying:
Released: 02/10/09
Le Donk and Scor-Zay-Zee is Shane Meadow's follow on film from the disappointing and pointless Somers Town. This film doesn't look amazing, it isn't a new or original project, been done before, but I'll watch this anyhow to keep up with the [cinema] Jones'. 0/5 for Originality.
Released: 09/10/09
Everyone says that Superbad is awesome or okay, never watched it, just word of mouth init. Watched this trailer, didn't laugh once. Probably wouldn't even watch the trailer if I was you, just thought I'd put this up here to say I don't like the trailer. Also, the park leader is quite obviously a John Cleese character. 0/5 for originality.
Out now.
17/09/2009
Crash Bandicoot
Many, many years ago, maybe 13 years ago – a superstitious number and an extremely unlucky number if your parents know Michael Jackson. My extremely happy relationship with this Doctor Cortex creation started one Christmas when Crash Bandicoot, the original game, was in my Xmas sack.
I remember one day defeating three bosses in one day, so my dad banned me from the Playstation and then proceeded to complete the game before me. What a soccer dad! Also, Jamie Staziker once came around and played on it and got banned by my Dad, because he didn’t like his style of playing the game; “button bashing and running. You never collect the Wumpa fruit”, not his precise words, but it was that sentence with different wording.
Two days ago, whilst stealing money, I found Crash Team Racing on the Gameboy and it has now become my waking up, just before bed and toilet activity – basically it has knocked wanking into 2nd priority.
Many good memories of Crash Bandicoot, later on today, whilst packing for university I am going to look for the Playstation versions of the game – wasn’t a big fan of the game they released on PS2 though – went too mainstream!!! I also remember the less successful re-boots, maybe I grew out of them and the Ratchet & Clank rip off which I played until I got stuck on about the sixth mission, that game was too highbrow for oneself.
I could never afford to have both Crash and Spyro on the Xmas list – were you Spyro or Crash kid?
15/09/2009
Bourne Supremecy
Today, shamefully, I went on the search around my house to steal petty amounts of money from my siblings – I found £1.12. Result. However, during the search I found products that are priceless: Gameboy Advance with a wide array of games (Crash Team Racing, The Incredibles, Tomb Raider and Sonic), Fantastic Mr. Fox and half a dozen DVD’s.
Among the DVD’s was Bourne Supremacy – The ‘American’ Bond movie, despite having a British director. I will refrain from making comparisons throughout this post, maybe one, but you have to allow me that. Me, Mark Critchley and John Foley watched Bourne Supremacy when it was released a few years ago, I cannot remember what we said about the movie – knowing how we were in the past it probably would have been a few muttered words, either “gay” or “alright” and then ventured back into taking the piss out of one another.
So, I watched Bourne Supremacy with a clean slate, I remembered nothing from the first time I watched it apart from that Paddy Considine was in it. The film is fast paced all the way through it, but this does not mean there is a lack of dialogue or character building, quite the opposite. All the while there is dialogue there is tension building up; the perfect example is while the CIA is tracking Simon Ross (Considine) at his Guardian newspaper office. Something a lot of action movies fail to do (see, I didn’t mention Bond!) and tend to lose the interest of the audience for a while until more rockets are shot up the arse of the Middle East.
My favourite parts of the movie were the Waterloo station sequence of events, which showed that suspense and action can be built up without blowing the shit out of London and then cruising off in a Ferrari or hover-craft. David Strathairn who plays Noah Veson is despicable and doesn’t own a cat (Dr Evil – Austin Powers). Thirdly, America is the villain in this movie, unlike Rambo, Expandables and Steven Segal movies were the baddie is always an Arab, Eastern European or Russian. Finally, my overall favourite part of the movie was the filming of the hand-to-hand combat scenes whilst in Africa. Whilst watching this part of the film I thought “this must have taken weeks to put all together”, it is expertly done and the shaky hand held effect gets you much more involved than fly-on-the-wall camera views.
Overall, a very enjoyable movie that will probably be dismissed by a lot of people because of its nature, but I enjoyed it a lot and would recommend it. Much better than the recent (last 30 years!) Bond movies, with a better cast, more realism and more believable characters (no men with three nipples, flying circuses or Japanese butlers with killer hats), Matt Damon plays Matt Damon just right, that ain’t no bad thing.
4.5/5
Among the DVD’s was Bourne Supremacy – The ‘American’ Bond movie, despite having a British director. I will refrain from making comparisons throughout this post, maybe one, but you have to allow me that. Me, Mark Critchley and John Foley watched Bourne Supremacy when it was released a few years ago, I cannot remember what we said about the movie – knowing how we were in the past it probably would have been a few muttered words, either “gay” or “alright” and then ventured back into taking the piss out of one another.
So, I watched Bourne Supremacy with a clean slate, I remembered nothing from the first time I watched it apart from that Paddy Considine was in it. The film is fast paced all the way through it, but this does not mean there is a lack of dialogue or character building, quite the opposite. All the while there is dialogue there is tension building up; the perfect example is while the CIA is tracking Simon Ross (Considine) at his Guardian newspaper office. Something a lot of action movies fail to do (see, I didn’t mention Bond!) and tend to lose the interest of the audience for a while until more rockets are shot up the arse of the Middle East.
My favourite parts of the movie were the Waterloo station sequence of events, which showed that suspense and action can be built up without blowing the shit out of London and then cruising off in a Ferrari or hover-craft. David Strathairn who plays Noah Veson is despicable and doesn’t own a cat (Dr Evil – Austin Powers). Thirdly, America is the villain in this movie, unlike Rambo, Expandables and Steven Segal movies were the baddie is always an Arab, Eastern European or Russian. Finally, my overall favourite part of the movie was the filming of the hand-to-hand combat scenes whilst in Africa. Whilst watching this part of the film I thought “this must have taken weeks to put all together”, it is expertly done and the shaky hand held effect gets you much more involved than fly-on-the-wall camera views.
Overall, a very enjoyable movie that will probably be dismissed by a lot of people because of its nature, but I enjoyed it a lot and would recommend it. Much better than the recent (last 30 years!) Bond movies, with a better cast, more realism and more believable characters (no men with three nipples, flying circuses or Japanese butlers with killer hats), Matt Damon plays Matt Damon just right, that ain’t no bad thing.
4.5/5
12/09/2009
Monkey Magic
Born from an egg on a mountain top
The punkiest monkey that ever popped
He knew every magic trick under the sun
To tease the Gods and everyone and have some fun
Monkey Magic, Monkey Magic. Monkey Magic, Monkey Magic.
Monkey Magic, Monkey Magic. Monkey Magic, Monkey Magic.
What a cocky, saucy monkey this one is
All the Gods were angered and they punished him
Until he was saved by a kindly priest
And that was the start of their pilgrimage west
Monkey Magic, Monkey Magic. Monkey Magic, Monkey Magic.
Monkey Magic, Monkey Magic. Monkey Magic, Monkey Magic.
With a little bit of Monkey Magic, you'll see fireworks tonight.
With a little bit of Monkey Magic, everything will be alright.
The punkiest monkey that ever popped
He knew every magic trick under the sun
To tease the Gods and everyone and have some fun
Monkey Magic, Monkey Magic. Monkey Magic, Monkey Magic.
Monkey Magic, Monkey Magic. Monkey Magic, Monkey Magic.
What a cocky, saucy monkey this one is
All the Gods were angered and they punished him
Until he was saved by a kindly priest
And that was the start of their pilgrimage west
Monkey Magic, Monkey Magic. Monkey Magic, Monkey Magic.
Monkey Magic, Monkey Magic. Monkey Magic, Monkey Magic.
With a little bit of Monkey Magic, you'll see fireworks tonight.
With a little bit of Monkey Magic, everything will be alright.
FAO: Prospective actors and investors
In my head I have seen the perfect introduction to my new movie – it’s a homage [stolen] from the first series of Japanese children’s programme – Monkey.
The sequence will be accompanied with Les and Ray by Le Tigre. I am a visionary for our generation, and those that will follow. I’m ready for a night of writing my baby; I’ve got my Armani glasses on and ready to get into the mind of the common kid.
A theatre for the common man. I’m on the brink of something really big. I’m a younger Barton Fink.
I’ve also had another idea for a film, based around a young lady who cannot accept her demons and until she will she will be haunted by them and push those away who want to help her. The subplot being that one of the demons is becoming human with a family.
I’ve been informed Joel Schumacher has pitched my idea to universal and wants to cast George Clooney as a superhero with in-built nipples in his batsuit.
The sequence will be accompanied with Les and Ray by Le Tigre. I am a visionary for our generation, and those that will follow. I’m ready for a night of writing my baby; I’ve got my Armani glasses on and ready to get into the mind of the common kid.
A theatre for the common man. I’m on the brink of something really big. I’m a younger Barton Fink.
I’ve also had another idea for a film, based around a young lady who cannot accept her demons and until she will she will be haunted by them and push those away who want to help her. The subplot being that one of the demons is becoming human with a family.
I’ve been informed Joel Schumacher has pitched my idea to universal and wants to cast George Clooney as a superhero with in-built nipples in his batsuit.
More New Films
Up in the Air
Jason Reitman’s third film, Up in the Air, stars George Clooney. Normally I wouldn’t watch movies like this, but Reitman directed Thank you for Smoking, and seeing as that is one of my favourite films this is definitely worth a watch.
Released: 25/11/09 (Same date as Men Who Stare at Goats!)
The Road
The Road is an adaptation of The Road, written by Cormac McCarthy (No Country for Old Men) and starring Viggo Mortensen and Charlize Theron (who only appears in flashbacks) The story is a tale of father and son who are trying to make it to the coast, but getting into trouble with cannibals along the way in a post-apocalyptic America. The film is already receiving positive reviews. But more importantly Nick Cave and Warren Ellis supply the soundtrack for this movie, like they did for the Jesse James movie.
Released: 16/10/09
[skip the first 43 seconds of the trailer]
Fantastic Mr. Fox
Yet another adaptation, albeit this movie and book being a little less serious in tone as The Road. Directed by Wes Anderson, who has an all-star cast, including: George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Jarvis Cocker (soundtrack), Owen Wilson, William Dafoe and Bill Murray, at his disposal for the voicing of this animated movie. The trailer seems funny, I’ve seen it before I watched it again today and didn’t find it that funny, but it seems funny again – but there are quite a lot of good films on the same week, so hopefully it’ll fulfill two weeks at the cinema and then I can watch it then, as the 25th of November week has so many strong looking films coming out.
Released: 25/11/09
Jason Reitman’s third film, Up in the Air, stars George Clooney. Normally I wouldn’t watch movies like this, but Reitman directed Thank you for Smoking, and seeing as that is one of my favourite films this is definitely worth a watch.
Released: 25/11/09 (Same date as Men Who Stare at Goats!)
The Road
The Road is an adaptation of The Road, written by Cormac McCarthy (No Country for Old Men) and starring Viggo Mortensen and Charlize Theron (who only appears in flashbacks) The story is a tale of father and son who are trying to make it to the coast, but getting into trouble with cannibals along the way in a post-apocalyptic America. The film is already receiving positive reviews. But more importantly Nick Cave and Warren Ellis supply the soundtrack for this movie, like they did for the Jesse James movie.
Released: 16/10/09
[skip the first 43 seconds of the trailer]
Fantastic Mr. Fox
Yet another adaptation, albeit this movie and book being a little less serious in tone as The Road. Directed by Wes Anderson, who has an all-star cast, including: George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Jarvis Cocker (soundtrack), Owen Wilson, William Dafoe and Bill Murray, at his disposal for the voicing of this animated movie. The trailer seems funny, I’ve seen it before I watched it again today and didn’t find it that funny, but it seems funny again – but there are quite a lot of good films on the same week, so hopefully it’ll fulfill two weeks at the cinema and then I can watch it then, as the 25th of November week has so many strong looking films coming out.
Released: 25/11/09
School Children
Six weeks of English summer, mostly pissing down and glimmers of change when the sun stops from wanking over African crops to bless our anaemic ridden school children with seventy two hours worth of shooting each other with make belief guns made of sticks, and the occasional tree trunk if you think you’re a member of the Baldwin family in a Stanley Kubrick Vietnam War movie.
Well, a disgusting little poverty ridden schmucks decide to go back to school with a fucking cold and spread it around school. Why don’t the little mother fuckers just stay at home and have another four days holiday, instead of passing the Black Death around Chorley?
Lindsay Hoyle has motioned in the House of Commons to have all children with colds to be chemically castrated, being a knee jerk liberal, I believe this is a little heavy handed, but at least whip them or summat. Bring back the birch!
I’m too young to die.
Well, a disgusting little poverty ridden schmucks decide to go back to school with a fucking cold and spread it around school. Why don’t the little mother fuckers just stay at home and have another four days holiday, instead of passing the Black Death around Chorley?
Lindsay Hoyle has motioned in the House of Commons to have all children with colds to be chemically castrated, being a knee jerk liberal, I believe this is a little heavy handed, but at least whip them or summat. Bring back the birch!
I’m too young to die.
11/09/2009
Gordon Strachan Quotes
The deadliest humour in football, unlike Glenn Hoddle.
1. Reporter: “Gordon, can we have a quick word, please?”
Strachan: “Velocity” [Walks Away]
2. Reporter: Can I ask you about Augustin Delgado
Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Augstin Delgado.
3. Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because I’m useless."
4. Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?
Strachan: You’re spot on! You can read me like a book.
5. Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?
Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you’re spot on there.
6. Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge.
7. Reporter: Gordon, Do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the England squad?
Strachan: I don’t care, I'm Scottish
8. Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?
Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.
9. Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there….
10. Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down.
The pick of the bunch is obviously this one…
On Wayne Rooney being called up for international duty: “It’s an incredible rise to stardom; at 17 you’re more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson”
1. Reporter: “Gordon, can we have a quick word, please?”
Strachan: “Velocity” [Walks Away]
2. Reporter: Can I ask you about Augustin Delgado
Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Augstin Delgado.
3. Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because I’m useless."
4. Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?
Strachan: You’re spot on! You can read me like a book.
5. Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?
Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you’re spot on there.
6. Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge.
7. Reporter: Gordon, Do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the England squad?
Strachan: I don’t care, I'm Scottish
8. Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?
Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.
9. Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there….
10. Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down.
The pick of the bunch is obviously this one…
On Wayne Rooney being called up for international duty: “It’s an incredible rise to stardom; at 17 you’re more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson”
09/09/2009
Henry Rollins ain't shit but bitches and whores
It’s time for affirmative action; my secretly depressed lifestyle has got to come to an end. I’ve had enough of being so paranoid I have to edit my facebook information every three hours, thus I’ve deleted the entire fucking thing all over again. So, Mark I'll see you at the Holy Cross school re-union in 10 years time. and Marcus I'll see you in politics at University.
Also, why the fuck is my hair thinning? This is not fair. Not even like with losing my hair I am gaining intelligence, that is just a pack full of catholic ridden lies by the head of year 11 at Holy Cross High School!
Look how fucking bald I am becoming – a Wigan fan does not deserve this biological curse!
Also, why the fuck is my hair thinning? This is not fair. Not even like with losing my hair I am gaining intelligence, that is just a pack full of catholic ridden lies by the head of year 11 at Holy Cross High School!
Look how fucking bald I am becoming – a Wigan fan does not deserve this biological curse!
Hong Kong Women’s Film Makers Festival
Cornerhouse, former victim to Bloke’s Factions reign of occupation, has decided to put on a Hong Kong women’s film festival, and I have selected the movies I am going to watch. They are as follows:
Ming Ming, Directed by Susie Au – Synopsis:
Ming Ming steals money and a wooden box from gangster Brother Cat, hoping to use her ill gotten gains to flee with D, a boxer she has fallen for. Cat unleashes a series of henchmen to stop her and as she passes on the money to Tu. As he tries to escape he meets Nana who looks just like Ming Ming. In a pair of energetic performances top mainland actress Zhou Xun plays both Ming Ming and Nana alongside Hong Kong heart-throb Daniel Wu.
The Way We Are, Directed by Ann Hui – Synopsis:
This quietly understated film follows the life of mother and son - Mrs Cheung and Ka-0n – as they get on with their lives in Hong Kong’s ‘City of Sadness’, Tin Shui Wai. Shot on HD, Ann Hui delivers a film that whilst far from didactic, offers a glimpse of everyday life in all its quiet nobility.
Anna and Anna, Directed by Aubrey Lam – Synopsis:
Karena Lam plays Anna, a successful woman living in Singapore. She moves to Shanghai when offered a job and whilst there bumps into someone who looks very much like her… With a heavy influence from Kieslowski’s The Double Life of Véronique, Anna & Anna succeeds in finding its finds its own voice and explores what might happen if we meet another version of ourselves who has taken another route through life.
Secondary School, Directed by Tammy Cheung – Synopsis
Shot over three months, the film chronicles the daily lives of two well-respected "Band One" secondary schools, one for boys and one for girls. Using the "direct cinema" approach, the documentary takes a close look at the present condition of the troubled school system and the children, teachers and parents who are all part of it in some way.
Anyway, that was quite a lot of hard work in copy and pasting this information from www.cornerhouse.org/film
Ming Ming, Directed by Susie Au – Synopsis:
Ming Ming steals money and a wooden box from gangster Brother Cat, hoping to use her ill gotten gains to flee with D, a boxer she has fallen for. Cat unleashes a series of henchmen to stop her and as she passes on the money to Tu. As he tries to escape he meets Nana who looks just like Ming Ming. In a pair of energetic performances top mainland actress Zhou Xun plays both Ming Ming and Nana alongside Hong Kong heart-throb Daniel Wu.
The Way We Are, Directed by Ann Hui – Synopsis:
This quietly understated film follows the life of mother and son - Mrs Cheung and Ka-0n – as they get on with their lives in Hong Kong’s ‘City of Sadness’, Tin Shui Wai. Shot on HD, Ann Hui delivers a film that whilst far from didactic, offers a glimpse of everyday life in all its quiet nobility.
Anna and Anna, Directed by Aubrey Lam – Synopsis:
Karena Lam plays Anna, a successful woman living in Singapore. She moves to Shanghai when offered a job and whilst there bumps into someone who looks very much like her… With a heavy influence from Kieslowski’s The Double Life of Véronique, Anna & Anna succeeds in finding its finds its own voice and explores what might happen if we meet another version of ourselves who has taken another route through life.
Secondary School, Directed by Tammy Cheung – Synopsis
Shot over three months, the film chronicles the daily lives of two well-respected "Band One" secondary schools, one for boys and one for girls. Using the "direct cinema" approach, the documentary takes a close look at the present condition of the troubled school system and the children, teachers and parents who are all part of it in some way.
Anyway, that was quite a lot of hard work in copy and pasting this information from www.cornerhouse.org/film
soon to be released movies
Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins star in the Wolfman remake of the 1941 horror movie of the same name. Is that enough big names for you? No! Well, Wolfman is also directed by Joe Johnston, responsible for the cinematic classics; Jumanji and Jurassic Park III. The trailer doesn’t show the movie in great light, but I doubt the movie itself will shine in great light anyway. It looks like a poor mans Van Helsing and League of Extraordinary Gentleman! But, I do have a pet-hate for movies in the same light of this.
To be released: 12/02/2010
Steven Soderbergh returns after saying ‘he can see the end of his career’ just after the release of Che Part II, what consequently starred the previously mentioned Del Toro. However, this time the star of the film is box office, world police and CIA smashin’ Matt Damon. Damon looks pretty funny so far in this film, I confess that I don’t mind the Bourne Trilogy, and am quite looking forward to this movie.
Released on the: 18/09/2009
Fish Tank, Andrea Arnold’s follow up to 2006’s Red Road, follows a 16yr Essex teenage girl with aspirations of becoming a dancer. The film also stars Michael Fassbender, who recently starred in Inglourious Basterds. I’ve been looking forward to this film since God knows when.
Released: 11/09/2009
To be released: 12/02/2010
Steven Soderbergh returns after saying ‘he can see the end of his career’ just after the release of Che Part II, what consequently starred the previously mentioned Del Toro. However, this time the star of the film is box office, world police and CIA smashin’ Matt Damon. Damon looks pretty funny so far in this film, I confess that I don’t mind the Bourne Trilogy, and am quite looking forward to this movie.
Released on the: 18/09/2009
Fish Tank, Andrea Arnold’s follow up to 2006’s Red Road, follows a 16yr Essex teenage girl with aspirations of becoming a dancer. The film also stars Michael Fassbender, who recently starred in Inglourious Basterds. I’ve been looking forward to this film since God knows when.
Released: 11/09/2009
08/09/2009
Trillion Dollar Man
We will start nice and easily with a little (I Wish!) amount of money - $100
Now, let's get into $10,000 - so little that you could fit it into your pocket and fritter it away on cocaine and alco-pops
The money that was guarded by 10 security guards at the Millenium Dome, the hugely unimpressive $1,000,000
Now we're getting into the big boy's league - the kind of money that David Beckham does have lying around his many houses, and the kind of money KAKA could have had if he moved to Greater Manchester...$100,000,000
Getting even sillier we move into money that very few people have and would happily pay a museam to drool at for a couple of minutes...100,000,000,000
Finally we reach the amount it takes to invade a Middle Eastern country for a couple of weeks, A TRILLION DOLLARS!!!
Now, let's get into $10,000 - so little that you could fit it into your pocket and fritter it away on cocaine and alco-pops
The money that was guarded by 10 security guards at the Millenium Dome, the hugely unimpressive $1,000,000
Now we're getting into the big boy's league - the kind of money that David Beckham does have lying around his many houses, and the kind of money KAKA could have had if he moved to Greater Manchester...$100,000,000
Getting even sillier we move into money that very few people have and would happily pay a museam to drool at for a couple of minutes...100,000,000,000
Finally we reach the amount it takes to invade a Middle Eastern country for a couple of weeks, A TRILLION DOLLARS!!!
07/09/2009
I Am Damo Suzuki
Using my telepathic gift I know that all of you out there have wished a bunch of lads would sit around and quote the Office for a weekend, whilst being surrounded by a supporting cast of egotistical kitchen sink manatees.
This weekend the lads hit London; Bringing Northern charm and good looks to a parasite army. To create an idea of the crowd for you – think V Festival, but the total opposite. V Festival is the laid back and cool uncle, whilst Offset is your drunken mother on Xmas day.
Never have I been to a place to be the only person to be wearing a football logo before this weekend. Instead the weekend was dominated by trilbies – I understand, we’re going through a credit crunch as bad as that of 1929 and people want to create a romantic utopia in dreadful times, but there is one problem – you’re not an apple seller who still lies to his wife and says he is still a banker/luxury salesman so that he saves face.
So why dress like a cock muncher? You’re not cool. Paul Jewell does not like you. Thatcher and Reagan do not respect fashion. Fashion is not yr sex slave. Coco Chanel is not your old dinner lady. You’re not a plumber, buy a belt. You’re not poor, buy a new pair of jeans. You’re not Noel Fielding, have a haircut. You’re not a bloody bloke.
Rant Over, Buddy.
This weekend the lads hit London; Bringing Northern charm and good looks to a parasite army. To create an idea of the crowd for you – think V Festival, but the total opposite. V Festival is the laid back and cool uncle, whilst Offset is your drunken mother on Xmas day.
Never have I been to a place to be the only person to be wearing a football logo before this weekend. Instead the weekend was dominated by trilbies – I understand, we’re going through a credit crunch as bad as that of 1929 and people want to create a romantic utopia in dreadful times, but there is one problem – you’re not an apple seller who still lies to his wife and says he is still a banker/luxury salesman so that he saves face.
So why dress like a cock muncher? You’re not cool. Paul Jewell does not like you. Thatcher and Reagan do not respect fashion. Fashion is not yr sex slave. Coco Chanel is not your old dinner lady. You’re not a plumber, buy a belt. You’re not poor, buy a new pair of jeans. You’re not Noel Fielding, have a haircut. You’re not a bloody bloke.
Rant Over, Buddy.
Monkey!
Put your hand up if you’re a fan of Monkey! I’ve just bought this pop-culture 1970’s Japanese masterpiece of children’s television. I remember watching this as a child, but I’m not a child of the seventies and it was my favourite programme, along with Captain Scarlet and Thomas the Tank Engine.
Looking forward to watching Monkey! Will tell you what I feel about it once I’ve watched it all the way through.
Seinfeld Series 1-3 for sale/swap if anyone wants to cut a juicy deal.
Looking forward to watching Monkey! Will tell you what I feel about it once I’ve watched it all the way through.
Seinfeld Series 1-3 for sale/swap if anyone wants to cut a juicy deal.
01/09/2009
Ramblings of a Mad Man: The Shock Doctrine
Tonight @ 22:00 hours on More4 I watched Michael Winterbottom’s (A director you will know best for 24 Hour Party People) screen adaptation of Naomi Klein’s book, The Shock Doctrine, a film that Klein herself has disowned due to differences in the structure and tone of the movie, quickly I will sum up the dispute; Klein wanted less narration and more interviews with sufferers and those behind the shock doctrine, instead Winterbottom has gone for narration. I understand where Klein is coming from on this issue, yes there is plenty of evidence and backbone to the minor clips of theoretical discussion Klein puts across, but sadly, there just isn’t enough theoretical discussion in this movie, a tiny amount so that the average viewer knows what is going on but not enough to totally engage you with her wider argument. So, due to this I will have to buy her book once it decides to fall in price.
Saying that The Shock Doctrine is still an enjoyable and educating film, and to balance the two can often be hard as too much of one can turn a film inaccurate and too much of the other can make you fall asleep.
The film begins with showing what The Shock Doctrine is in psychiatric terms, it tells us that it is a way to gain intelligence from the enemy through torture – sleep deprivation, barking dogs, dazing etc. and how it was first discovered that these techniques garnered information.
Next we see the teachings of economist Milton Friedman, basically unregulated economy with no state intervention – for you budding GCSE students out there ‘keep your hands off what isn’t yours!’ and how Friedman started academies and taught students in Chile, before and after the Pinochet military coup. The Pinochet coup and regime was the most insightful and frightening showcase of the powers of the Shock Doctrine - thousands of men and women ‘disappearing’ and ultimately being murdered, protests being broken up, supreme poverty due to Friedman’s economic manifesto. During Pinochet’s reign early on, and even later, a huge rise in poverty was shown and the rich got fatter simply. However, at the same time Winterbottom shows that these policies where not able to be carried out in Western democracies due to General Elections, instead Western economies often found boosts from the government, like America before the re-election of Tricky Dicky.
However, comparisons are drawn between Milk Snatcher Thatcher and Pinochet, both who did steal the milk from the kiddies. Thatcher carried out the same tactics of Pinochet, just under a more legitimate cloud. She showed this through her use of the police force to break up the coal strikes in 1984-1985 and also the war against Argentina. The war in Argentina is depicted as imperialist and a way for Thatcher to re-assert her and Britain’s dominance on a world and national stage. Thus, implicating the Shock Doctrine through use of brute force, and like in Chile depicting it as a great nationalist and patriotic victory.
Thatcher was loyal to Friedman’s idea of ‘freedom’ selling off state ownership in waterworks, British airways, steel, housing, telephone and others, as you will more than well know. Pure economics according to Friedman, but this leads to a problem in the film that aggravated me because Winterbottom never went into debt on the point, a point that could have won people over to the argument more: he never explored the idea that shares in these companies were not bought by ordinary people, but massive corporations who had millions, if not billions, and ultimately do not give interests into the level of satisfaction or service they provide, but are there to put profit before people.
Anyway, I divulge – another dynamite segment of the film, just as shocking, is the depiction of the American army. This shows how Bush et al privatised mass parts of the army, and the day before 9/11 Dick Cheney made a speech in which he disclosed that he aimed to sell the army to private companies – a chilling thought. In 2007 there were more private company individuals than there were to every 100 hundred American soldiers. It’s made even weird with the fact that the creator of this economic ideology does not even agree with the privatisation of the military. Systematically, it shows that common Shock Doctrine techniques have been used in Iraq as other countries before it, disappearance of people, dead bodies by roadside for warning etc.
However, on a brighter note it’s suggested that we, the human mass, are overcoming the Shock Doctrine, and maybe it will no longer affect us, but still, I’d like to see that. I am going to buy the book and hopefully then I will have more of an understanding of the theory, but it seems interesting from what the documentary showed.
Saying that The Shock Doctrine is still an enjoyable and educating film, and to balance the two can often be hard as too much of one can turn a film inaccurate and too much of the other can make you fall asleep.
The film begins with showing what The Shock Doctrine is in psychiatric terms, it tells us that it is a way to gain intelligence from the enemy through torture – sleep deprivation, barking dogs, dazing etc. and how it was first discovered that these techniques garnered information.
Next we see the teachings of economist Milton Friedman, basically unregulated economy with no state intervention – for you budding GCSE students out there ‘keep your hands off what isn’t yours!’ and how Friedman started academies and taught students in Chile, before and after the Pinochet military coup. The Pinochet coup and regime was the most insightful and frightening showcase of the powers of the Shock Doctrine - thousands of men and women ‘disappearing’ and ultimately being murdered, protests being broken up, supreme poverty due to Friedman’s economic manifesto. During Pinochet’s reign early on, and even later, a huge rise in poverty was shown and the rich got fatter simply. However, at the same time Winterbottom shows that these policies where not able to be carried out in Western democracies due to General Elections, instead Western economies often found boosts from the government, like America before the re-election of Tricky Dicky.
However, comparisons are drawn between Milk Snatcher Thatcher and Pinochet, both who did steal the milk from the kiddies. Thatcher carried out the same tactics of Pinochet, just under a more legitimate cloud. She showed this through her use of the police force to break up the coal strikes in 1984-1985 and also the war against Argentina. The war in Argentina is depicted as imperialist and a way for Thatcher to re-assert her and Britain’s dominance on a world and national stage. Thus, implicating the Shock Doctrine through use of brute force, and like in Chile depicting it as a great nationalist and patriotic victory.
Thatcher was loyal to Friedman’s idea of ‘freedom’ selling off state ownership in waterworks, British airways, steel, housing, telephone and others, as you will more than well know. Pure economics according to Friedman, but this leads to a problem in the film that aggravated me because Winterbottom never went into debt on the point, a point that could have won people over to the argument more: he never explored the idea that shares in these companies were not bought by ordinary people, but massive corporations who had millions, if not billions, and ultimately do not give interests into the level of satisfaction or service they provide, but are there to put profit before people.
Anyway, I divulge – another dynamite segment of the film, just as shocking, is the depiction of the American army. This shows how Bush et al privatised mass parts of the army, and the day before 9/11 Dick Cheney made a speech in which he disclosed that he aimed to sell the army to private companies – a chilling thought. In 2007 there were more private company individuals than there were to every 100 hundred American soldiers. It’s made even weird with the fact that the creator of this economic ideology does not even agree with the privatisation of the military. Systematically, it shows that common Shock Doctrine techniques have been used in Iraq as other countries before it, disappearance of people, dead bodies by roadside for warning etc.
However, on a brighter note it’s suggested that we, the human mass, are overcoming the Shock Doctrine, and maybe it will no longer affect us, but still, I’d like to see that. I am going to buy the book and hopefully then I will have more of an understanding of the theory, but it seems interesting from what the documentary showed.
Heath Linn - a younger michael parkinson
Hello, here is a mixtape by Toddla T, and if you scroll down a little you will see half a dozen more mixtapes by the boom dj from the steel city. Here is the link:
http://fairtilizer.com/track/toddlatfabric
What? You want more? Oh, go on then! Here is another soundtrack I'm planning to listen to once it downloads...if my pc can carry out such an elementary task! Here's the track listing:
Lil Scrappy - Addicted to Money
Rasheeda - Juicy like a Peach
Bflecha - Ceja De Carnival
Terror Danjah - Zumpi Hunter (Swindle Remix)
Hudson Mohawke - Twist Clip Loop
Ace Hood - Loco 4 Cake
Jeremy Greene - Pitbull - Rain Remix (Instrumental)
Rustie - Relay
Loops Haunt - Rubber Sun Grenade
Hudson Mohawke - Glue Tooth
Samoyed - Maybe Yes
The Dream - Sweat It Out
Tiago - Never Forget
Subeena - Dereflex
Young Snead - I Love When Dey Hate
Hudson Mohawke - Fuse
The Cool Kids - Jump Rope
Doll Phase - Damn Right (Instrumental)
Sweat X - I'm That Alley (Mike Slott remix)
Loops Haunt - Impact Omnihammer
Rustie - Teen Souls Burning
7vwwvw - It's my Birthday
http://www.factmagazine.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=3348&Itemid=98
http://fairtilizer.com/track/toddlatfabric
What? You want more? Oh, go on then! Here is another soundtrack I'm planning to listen to once it downloads...if my pc can carry out such an elementary task! Here's the track listing:
Lil Scrappy - Addicted to Money
Rasheeda - Juicy like a Peach
Bflecha - Ceja De Carnival
Terror Danjah - Zumpi Hunter (Swindle Remix)
Hudson Mohawke - Twist Clip Loop
Ace Hood - Loco 4 Cake
Jeremy Greene - Pitbull - Rain Remix (Instrumental)
Rustie - Relay
Loops Haunt - Rubber Sun Grenade
Hudson Mohawke - Glue Tooth
Samoyed - Maybe Yes
The Dream - Sweat It Out
Tiago - Never Forget
Subeena - Dereflex
Young Snead - I Love When Dey Hate
Hudson Mohawke - Fuse
The Cool Kids - Jump Rope
Doll Phase - Damn Right (Instrumental)
Sweat X - I'm That Alley (Mike Slott remix)
Loops Haunt - Impact Omnihammer
Rustie - Teen Souls Burning
7vwwvw - It's my Birthday
http://www.factmagazine.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=3348&Itemid=98
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