What has the Dude gone and done?

Looks like Jeff Bridges has left behind his old passive ways and decided to enrol for the army, maybe his 10% cut wasn't enough. Despite Obi Wan Kenobi's terrible American accent this film looks quite good and the trailer made me laugh. Looking forward to watching the movie in full when it comes out. But I do hope that George Clooney's performances doesn't leave him as red faced as one of his earlier performances...



Also the Coen's newest film since Burn After Reading, A Serious Man has a trailer, it has been circling for a while, but only just got around to putting up. It looks interesting and the trailer beat is awesome - all it needed was a good dosage of John Goodman.



Help cut out piracy!

Billionaire's Son vs. Public School Boy

News Corp Chief (N.C.C.) leader James Murdoch comes up against Robert Peston of BBC – the battle between the two fierce rivals has been bubbling for months, and Peston finally snapped after Murdoch’s claim that the BBC is “Strangling” competition on Sunday night’s edition of WWE Heat.

This won’t only be two individuals fighting for the World Heavyweight Title, but a fight of Smackdown vs. Raw. BBC’s recent “land grab” of events on the RAW roster has pushed Murdoch too far, a man who is used to getting his own way.

Events went too far after Murdoch was addressing the WWE Smackdown audience and Peston stormed the stage, to which Murdoch shouted “HOW DARE YOU?!?!”, but for Peston to retort “IF YOU THINK YOU CAN GET FUCKING ANGRY, I CAN GET FUCKING ANGRY”

Jerry Lawler said “This will be the greatest wrestling match since Obama and McCain, with two colossal creatures of business the size of Andre the Giant”

Tune to Sky Sports Pay-to-View this Tuesday to witness the greatest sporting entertainment event.

Music Round-Up

Of late I’ve not been on the button with music, I became lazy and uninterested in discovering new bands for about five months, but today, while all [two of] my friends have been to Leeds (I hope it rained all weekend) I decided to trawl through various websites [Drowned in Sound, Pitchfork and Hip-Hops blogs I can’t recall] and have found some new and exciting [for me] sounds.

Here is a list of the great, they’re all available on Spotify, which I suspect if it catches on with every music listener will be shut down by the music industry.

Bearsuit
Children of the Bong
Coachwhips
Double Dagger
E.S.G.
FaltyDL
Kap Bambino
Lovvers
Major Lazer
Pterodactyl
South Rakkas Crew
The Death Set
The Mummers
You Love Her Cos She’s Dead
Women
Wild Beasts
The XX (not as good as the hype says, but alright)
Toddla T
These Are Powers
XX Teens
The Hunches
Scout Niblett

My five favourite out of that list are:

1) Major Lazer
2) South Rakkas Crew
3) Double Dagger
4) Kap Bambino
5) Coachwhips

If you do download or Spotify any of those bands I hope you enjoy, unlike them fucking adverts on spotify – the hypocrisy of the government sharing anti-alcohol propaganda with Fosters adverts, eh?

Heath Linn: 08/01/1991 - 30/08/2043

Greeting Travellers,

I, Lizo Mzimba, allow you to view British greatest movie and play director at his mental low and professional top. The following interview took place in 2037, just after he released his movie biopic of former rock star and Prime Minister Carl Barat. I hope this allows you to view the misunderstood “maverick cop” in a different light, hopefully a sympathetic and loving light.




Q) Hello Heath, you were formerly known for you outrageous antics and amazing charismatic personality. How did this period of your life make you feel?

A) Great question, Winston. I feel that period of my life came out of being sick and tired with the artistic draught that was taking place in the Chorley/Leyland area in late 2007. At the time there was nobody out there who had the balls, like me, to wear a jumper/cardigan without a shirt underneath – when I first did this people said I was crackers, others said I was a mis-understood genius. It’s up to you to decide, and you know why? Because this is a democracy and we have choice.

Q) But what would you say to the people who said, and some still do say, that you had a nasty streak to your wonderful personality?

A) Utter codswallop! Not once have I ever raised a fist or octane at a person, object or animal, and if anybody has evidence, not just ‘their word’ I would like to see it, because I tell you one thing these allegations would not stand up in court! So why should I take this rigmarole on the streets.

Q) Some say that you have been disrespectful in the past and that your ego got in the way of your former kind and loving nature…

A) What former kind and loving nature – haha! I only joke; you don’t win a Palme D’Or for helping the blind cross the road. My ego? Never been a problem, I’ve always been in control of my so-called ego, never a problem. But I would like a cold can of coke! - *laughs*

Q) So what would you say the reason for having a young, midget Turkish boy carrying your baggage around the set was?

A) That? That was just standard practice. Every director, in the top ten of an academic subject, had to have a disabled, or as I like to call them – a spak, carrying their baggage around. It’s human nature for the lesser to look after the superior AKA me.

Q) But do you not think that displays an ego?

A) Your persistent questioning comes from some ego – a great whopping big fat ego, my friend. You’re like leather, you brown cunt, leather man, make a suitcase out of you. You look disgusting you fat cunt.

Q) Excuse me?

A) I must apologise, it was the heat.

Q) Does that not show the temper and anger people have been talking about?

A) I don’t think it does, I think it shows a Machiavellian streak in oneself that puts me ahead in the rat race, and too a degree out of the rat race.

Q) Okay. So what are you currently working on?

A) Well, I’m glad you asked really. It’s a movie about vampires, but not an ordinary vampire movie, this movie is about homosexual vampires – because if you think about it a vampire, ultimately a man as Dracula is, is ultimately gay when he is sucking the blood of other men. So I thought ‘why not take this to another dimension?’, so I decided to write a script in which a vampire, Dracula, bites a man, but becomes so infatuated by him that he can’t bring himself to bite him one more time – but here comes the twist…he is the last man on the planet!

Q) Wow. How long have you been writing this?

A) I’ve not, I’m a bloody genius and thought of that on the spot.

Q) Don’t want to sound like I’m brown nosing but you’ve a special creative mind that drives you ahead of the rest.

A) haha, thanks. Michael Haneke and Ken Loach said exactly the same thing just a few days ago.

Q) How are they?

A) Is this a fucking interview about them fucking cunts, fucking telling me how fucking great I am? I don’t fucking need them to fucking tell me how fucking great I am. And you fucking know why BECAUSE I FUCKING KNOW I’M GREAT!

Q) Okay. I’m so sorry

A) Don’t apologise, it’s not your fault – it’s that damn wasp it’s really winding me up and just making me feel nauseas. Go on, ask the next question, and don’t mind me.

Q) Mmmh. So have you been working on anything exclusively before that great mind wave?

A) Ahhh, yeah – A play about school children who plan a robbery of a pornography magazine from a newsagent. It’s a play about loyalty, friendship, discovery of oneself, comradeship, betrayal and childhood humour. I do believe that children are rarely portrayed correctly in plays or movies – and when they’re portrayed well as vulnerable, funny, free for all scallywags the movie or play director/screen writer forgets that around friends children have a foul mouth and can say hurtful things.

Q) Well, that has been addressed in o-

A) – shut the fuck up you snotty nosed kid who thinks he know every mother fucking intricate detail about fucking life and films, you think you know everything because you’ve got a fucking degree and you can fucking suck of lecturers for degrees, or if that fucking fails and your cum stained tongue begs mummy and daddy to buy your fucking results you mother fucking cunt. You fucking tanned up mother fucking fat alligator. Fuck off.

*Doctor Heath Linn storms out the studio*

I believe this shows the true nature of the great director; Heath Linn, before he sadly passed away yesterday, 30/08/2043. On one half a truly great mind, the other a man tortured by a wondering torment of his rejection from Lucy Jacksons party in 2009, such a crushing rejection can never be recovered from.

My best wishes and sympathies with Heath’s family and friend at the moment.

The Best of Karl Pilkington

Karl's opinion on fables: "That's the problem with them fables, they're putting animals together that wouldn't meet. I don't know where a scorpion is knockin' around with a frog."

Karl's opinion on old age: “Well, like, when you're born, you're a little baby, you're wrinkly and stuff, when you get older you sort of morph into a baby again...”

Karl's opinions on art: "Stop looking at the walls, look out the window."

Karl's view on Noah's efficency ""If I was [Noah], I would have gone, "Hang on a minute, I've just seen somethin' that looks a bit like this, let it drown", have a bit of a clear out, but he was messin' about savin' everythin'"

Karl's critique of Charles Darwin: “Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?”

Karl gets philosophical: "Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine."

"At some point, somethin has had it away with a leaf" This is Karl's explanation of an insect which has evolved to look like a leaf to protect itself from prey.

Karl on being stuck to key dates: "That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it; December 25th"

Karl on cutting open avocados- "It's a food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. If it's a hassle to get into, leave it to the experts."

Karl on his dreams of meeting Warlock Davis: "The first time I see him, I'd be a little like, what should I say, what shouldn't I say? Whereas once you get to know him I'm sure he'd be a lovely little fella."

Karl on erm...eating nob: "It is hard eating a little kangaroo knob."

Karl comes up with a solution for sea pollution: "[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful."

"I'd kick it, and I'd say 'You knob-head'." - Karl tells Ricky his response to being poisoned by an octopus

Karl on specsavers: "A dog has got human eyes."

Karl on animal entertainment: "I saw a cockroach playing Pacman."

Karl's amazed homelessness affects other races: "Walking down the street in London with Suzanne, saw a little homeless.. well I didn't see the homeless bloke right, I saw a leg stickin out of a doorway, thought 'here we go', right. Walked past it, right, you're not gonna believe this. Homeless.... chinese fella. I've never seen one of them."

"Just sort of wander about and that, and just not get seen" What Karl would do with the power of invisibility

Karl's views on the gays: "I'm still none the wiser as to why they do that"

Karl explains sex: "You build up to it, don't you? You have that bit of a chat, and you go "alright? Hows it going?". You get on an' that and then a little baby pops out."

Karl probes Stephen Merchant: “Were you a tall baby?”

Karl on holidays: "Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good."

AND THE GRAND FINALE: "I could eat a knob at night."

Monkey News

A round up of what's what!

Penelope Cruz is pretty good looking. Never really noticed her up until yesterday when I saw Volver. I think she defeats Sophie Ellis Bexter and Katy Perry as the most attractive celebrity; them being the only two celebrities I've ever thought of as being attractive.

Today I watched If...(Lindsay Anderson), Hidden (Michael Haneke) and Broken Embraces (Pedro Almodovar) - three brilliant movies. All very different, but each movie had at least one engrossing and spectacular scene. Sadly, I could not find the clips from Hidden and Broken Embraces. So here is Travis creating some anarchy at private school.



Vivian Girls new album, on first listen, sounds much stronger and developed than the first album, definitely sounds like a great album already. Looking forward to listening to it on full volume when everyone else is at work.

Rowdy Roddy Piper - The Highs, and No Lows

Wrestlemania had middle aged men and Gareth Holden wet when Rowdy Roddy Piper made a spectacular comeback to the World Wrestling Entertainment.



Rowdy Roddy Piper was heroicly depicted in the worldwide hit The Simpsons by Groundkeeper Willy. Here we go again!



Finally, wrestling and cartoons weren't the only thing Rowdy Roddy Piper dipped his toes into, he also loved to act. Here we can see a clips of one of my favourite movies and after you've seen this I'm sure it will be yours too! - Hell Comes to Frogtown.



Man has always had it's limits. But Rowdy Roddy Piper isn't man to me, he is God.

Brothers Gotta Work it Out!

Tonight, whilst Jamie was filling his Vauxhall Corsa with Unleaded diesel we heard a huge cheer coming from the Pilling Lane direction – we knew it was the colossal football megastars who once reached the round three of the FA Cup: Chorley FC.

So, we headed over to Victory Park as it was bound to me more entertaining than throwing litter onto the Friday Street Car Park. After parking up we strolled into the ‘stadium’, for free, although those who watched the entire game paid £7. We thought it would be empty, but as it turned out Chorley FC were hosting the top of the league, and Yorkshire sheep fuckers – Halifax Town. On arrival we thought it was busier and louder than usual, then when we turned the corner we saw around 1,000 people jumping up and down as Halifax had just equalised to take it to 3-3.

So we weren’t stood in the away stand we walked to the Chorley stand, but on the way we met one of Ryan’s friends from Manchester United, so we hung with him. However, nearby was a woman with her husband. This woman believed, somewhat delusional, that she had the equal rights to men at the football – what she was doing there in the first place was beyond me. It begs the question of why, if woman are socially allowed to go football matches why the government has not outlawed this heinous crime, like Iran.

She shouted out, weakly: “make the pass”, “create space” etc. Somehow, this woman must have believed she was somewhat of a genius when it comes to football as none of these footballers thought about making space or passing the ball when in trouble. Instead they thought that they would man mark their defender and allow the opponent to tackle them every time they received the ball.

This baffles me, if she is thinking that in her head, keep it there, I don’t think footballers need to be told to do their job by some small and fat 50yr old woman. The idea that spectators shout to players what their next action should be – like in a Who Wants to Be a Millionaire format Wayne Rooney has the chance to make a run into the box and attempt to slot the ball into the bottom corner, or blast the ball from the edge of the box and have a 50/50 chance of beating the goalkeeper, or play a through ball and give Dimitar Berbatov an equally expectant chance to convert. So, with so many chances ahead of the young striker he takes his dilemma to the crowd, asking for an answer to his predicament Old Trafford home supports vote by electronic remote control and then Chris Tarrant wanders onto the pitch, filmed by Danny Boyle, and gives Wayne the results.

This one woman, and fat men and women across the world have to realise that they have no control over the performance of the individual player on the pitch just by shouting “over-the-top” or “run faster”. Instead, like Halifax Town they need to get together and chant songs, thus creating energy and pace for the game.

Individual insults = struggling in oblivion
Collective chants = top of the league

Rashomon: in being characterised by multiple conflicting or differing interpretations

Having only a few hobbies I find it very hard to pick subjects to write about on here, but yet again I am going to turn to my trusty best friend – cinema. Recently, after a couple of weeks of wanting, and then impulsively thinking “fuck it – go mental with the overdraft” I bought Akira Kurosawa’s movie – Rashomon. Although, not the most entertaining movie I’ve ever watched, but how can anything once you’ve seen the cinematic classic; War of the Worlds – whoever thought Tom Cruise depicting a docker was believable needs their back up against the wall.

Rashomon is a 1950 Japanese movie set in the 12th century, where a woman is raped and her husband murdered. We hear several accounts of the events, including that of the dead husband, albeit through a spiritualist. All the different accounts contradicting one another, and thus throwing up the question of whether there is any truth in such a callous society where a man is driven to rape, and maybe murder.

Despite being at odds with the philosophy of the movie I still recognise the hugely influential story telling narrative of the movie. The movie shows every suspect and witness turning up, at what seems an elder’s court, and describe what they saw, every story contradicting the other. With every tale comes another twist and turn, but you never know whether this twists in the plot are true or not because they’re from the perspective of a human trying to clear their name in front of the judiciary.

The film has obviously influenced several directors throughout history, most popularly and well known is the 1996 movie – The Usual Suspects, yet that does not give the story the justice it deserves. Something I hope I might be able to do, as if in the end I do enrol for Film Studies as an extra subject in second year and have to make a short movie I would definitely look at doing a contemporary take on Rashomon, with a different philosophy.

The film is definitely worth checking out, and hopefully in the future I will be able to afford the extraordinarily priced Seven Samurai, Throne of Blood and Yojimbo, all Akira Kurosawa movies. Maybe I’d be able to buy them if I stopped going watching Inglourious Basterds over and over again – may go for a third time when my brothers go to Leeds Festival and a forth when my real brother arrives home from Sweden. Oh, on the note of Inglourious Basterds, I’ve picked my brains and thought of the perfect replacement for Eli Roth – Eric Bana. He was born to kill…in movies.

If anybody wishes to borrow Rashomon ask me. My thirst for new films has continued this week as I’ve purchased Dark Habis (Pedro Almodovar), Clockers (Spike Lee) and Hana-Bi (Takeshi Kitano), and Marcus Barnett, if you are reading: I will buy Do the Right Thing for £2 – Deal or No Deal?

That’s a Bingo

Take Two: Inglourious Basterds

Quentin Tarantino, living genius or falling dinosaur? Tarantino’s spaghetti western world war two movie has definitely planted itself as a resident of the marmite constituency. John Patterson, The Guardian referring to Tarantino’s new movie as “incoherent and embarrassingly ill-wrought”, whilst others, and singling out one long time admirer of Tarantino’s work, Roger Ebert sums up the movie and the opinion that many will hold much more eloquently than Mr. Patterson, “a big, bold, audacious war movie that will annoy some, startle others and demonstrate once again that he’s the real thing”. Tarantino has been on record stating that “this ain’t your daddy’s war movie” – so why are so many finding the concept of what Tarantino has created so difficult is beyond me. Tarantino from the off-put has stated that he was not looking to create a historical lesson, but was intending to tell a story of a group of individuals fighting for freedom, turning fear upon the fear mongers and inspiring others to do what they have.

Inglourious Basterds is set in Nazi occupied France, and follows four stories which all intertwine (nothing new to Tarantino movies – Pulp Fiction and Jackie Brown) through their common goal – killing the enemy. Chapter one introduces us to Col. Landa, nicknamed ‘The Jew Hunter’. Christopher Waltz’s depiction of The Jew Hunter is sinister, calculated, ironic, funny and mannered, deserving of an Oscar nomination, after this stand out performance; in a movie where every – but one, performance is stand out. The only performance I hold distaste with is ‘The Bear Jew’ played by Eli Roth, somewhat of a strained performance in which Roth never seems convincing; the only redeeming factor for the role is the actual strength of the character. The Bear Jew is a member of ‘The Basterds’ (Nicknamed by the German soldiers) who we’re introduced to in the second chapter. The Basterds make their way through Nazi occupied France destroying segments of the German army, The Basterds are hell bent on causing physical pain for the Nazis – and why not? The Basterds are led by Aldo Raine, a tribute to 1970’s B-War Movie actor Aldo Ray. The ultimate plan, Operation Kino, leads all the major roles together to a French cinema, where the death of leading Nazis is dreamt of to stop the war.

This ending has brought many criticisms to the movie, claims that Tarantino has “taken liberties” with history, something Waltz and Tarantino firmly deny, Waltz claiming it is all part of being an “Artist”, something I happen to agree with him on. [Spoiler] During the first showings of Inglourious Basterds in Berlin there were many cheers and ‘whoops’ when the Fuhrer was murdered by The Bear Jew. Tarantino’s movie brings up interesting points of how cinema can change the world, maybe not in the sense Tarantino shows in the movie, but he probably knows that, but in a sense of creating resistance. However, David Cox argues that “Operation Kino’s flames consume not just the Third Reich, but reality itself” but I believe he firmly misses the point of the entire film with this comment. I expect nobody to enter the cinema thinking to see a war movie in the same light as Downfall, Black Books, Days of Glory etc., but to see a war movie which throws away conventional history for two and a half hours, allows you to escape your life and all your constraints, and lets you think “what if?”, thus empowering people to know they have the power to change history. This is what the movie says to me more than just your standard revenge story, and it seems many critics have watched this movie from a view point of conservatism, and have failed to see the element that movies allow you to deconstruct history and re-write for the value of entertainment, which this film offers in abundance.

{Spoiler} One of my favourite aspects of the movie, which you rarely see in other war movies, is that Tarantino never allows the audience to get comfortable and cosy with his Basterds. This looks to have come out of a distaste, which I share, in many movies that you know from the start who is going to live and who is going to die, something which ruins a lot of movie experiences for me, but something you never have in Tarantino’s movies. For example, John Travolta’s Vega character dies quickly and surprisingly in Pulp Fiction, none of the main characters successfully get away with the robbery heist in Reservoir Dogs. This is continued in Inglourious Basterds, with Basterds hiding for much of the film to arrive towards the end as a hero. Another effect of Tarantino’s I appreciate, although not being exclusive to Tarantino’s movies, is that when a character does not understand what is being said in a foreign language, neither do you. This works extremely well. Also, before going into this movie I never really thought that Tarantino’s soundtracks were as good as people claim they are, apart from Harry Nilsson’s Coconut, of course, but this movie has one of the greatest soundtracks I’ve ever heard, along with The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, and surprisingly they’re both done by the same man, Ennio Morricone, albeit Tarantino borrows his from another movies.

The movie has been criticised for not only being too long, but too boring. Peter Bradshaw was “struck afresh by how exasperatingly awful and transcendentally disappointing…colossal, complacent, and long-winded” movie Tarantino had created. However, not once through this movie did I look at my watch, want for the scene to move on or think “why hasn’t that been cut?” The film was enjoyable throughout and hooks you in from the start and never leaves you feeling isolated from the characters in the movie, but due to the soundtrack and the acting makes you feel like you’re actually there watching them, something I’ve rarely felt before. A major criticism of the film is the infamously long card scene’ was certainly not too long, if anything it was the perfect build up of tension and suspense by Tarantino, something that Tarantino appears to be able to pull off in every movie he creates, even the ending of Kill Bill; Volume 2 has some aspects of tension despite being overly drawn out. The scene also showcases the talents of German born actor Michael Fassbender, who, at the age of 18 re-enacted Reservoir Dogs at a local nightclub, and originally studied for the role of Colonel Landa. Fassbender plays an upper-class British film critic, who embodies some sort of want to be an actor during his scenes of arguing with the mayor. Fassbender is yet just one of the many displays of acting brilliance throughout this movie.

So the movie that was thought to never be created, a thought shared by Lawrence Bender (Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction producer), has certainly silenced me after I’d begun to question the previous work of Tarantino as a little self-indulgent. Tarantino was once sort to be an equal of Scorsese, and then said to be a let down to never living to his promise, but I can never envisage Little Marty ever doing anything as magnificently outrageous as this movie. Tarantino has shown that in movies changing history can be a good thing (something Spielberg didn’t)and represented that cinema can be a catalyst to building resistance, something many already knew, but a thought that has been lost in contemporary Hollywood cinema and instead replaced by tripe like all out American movies like Transformers. As a genius once said “put conventional logic to one side, and enjoy, well, I say enjoy”.

Review: Inglourious Basterds

Never change your plans because people just fuck up your day.

Mesrine: Killer Stink

Jean-Francois Richet’s new movie Mesrine: Killer Instinct tells the tale of French criminal Jacques Mesrine who was murdered by French police in 1979. The tale is told from the auto-biography of Mesrine, which leads to a sceptical viewing from the start.

Richet’s directing and story reeks of Scorsese, and just regurgitates gangster clichés which are repetitively used by Hollywood gangster movies. For example, falling in love with the most beautiful girl in the room, marrying her, being nagged to spend more time with the wife instead of staying out all night with the wife, abusing her, leaving her, playing poker whilst smoking & drinking, plenty of whores on the side and most importantly: respect.

Richet attempts, maybe under pressure from the auto-biography, to portray Jacques as a man driven to violence due to his time in the army. This however fails to stick – instead Mesrine comes across as a brute before his time in the army due to his actions and once leaving the army joining underground crime seems natural for a man of his nature.

Naturally for a gangster film of this nature and view point consistent violence is shown throughout the movie, but the violence is not even interesting, mainly due to a lack of suspense. This is brought about for two reasons, A) You know that whatever happens Mesrine is going to survive because there’s a sequel to come, and B) You don’t care what happens to Mesrine or any of his associates. The ending being a perfect example in the woods, as soon as the Park Wardens arrive you know they will die, there’s no suspense involved, you’re never left wondering whether Mesrine might show compassion or torture them, instead he just points a gun and shoots, and after two hours of this it’s extremely boring.

This leads to another interesting point. Throughout the film there are just random scenes, in which you don’t know why they happen. Like the death of Mesrine’s best friend and boss, it just happens randomly one night, so Mesrine flees. The film misses chunks of Mesrine’s life out, and this can work in some movies, but this movie is moving so fast that it just doesn’t work and leaves the film lacking character depth, and instead having plenty unneeded shoot-outs and rescue missions.

One point in the film when they try to show character depth, but not understanding, is when they show him in the light of a media superstar in France. There are interesting ways of showing this, and one of them is not to copy Oliver Stone’s dire attempt in Natural Born Killers. This for me was one of the worst moments in the movie and this part of the movie should have attempted to explain in a linear and narrative way why Mesrine became such a superstar in his home nation.

If you enjoy watching mind numbing and generic gangster movies, which are supposed to be a little more credible because it’s foreign cinema then be my guest and waste £5 like I did. Otherwise, steer away from Mesrine: Killer Instinct and it’s sequel and buy a decent gangster movie.

1/5

Poetic Justice

Greetings Travellers,



Simon Jordan and Neil Warnock, two of the biggest wankers in football got a portion of their just deserves on Saturday when Freddy Sears scored - or did he?

The two of them have been involved in so many spats over the past few years that they're now the class clowns of football who nobody takes serious or listens to. Simon Jordan has infamously fallen out with Iain Dowie and Steve Bruce over the years when they've wanted to leave his clubs, and Neil Warnock complained about referees at the end of every game they played whilst in the Premier League and then cried for two years when he thought they were wrongly relegated due to the 'Tevez Saga' which has added to financially crushing West Ham.

I do not care about Crystal Palace, I have only ever liked Gabor Kiraly. Plus I've tipped Bristol City for promotion, through the play-offs, so every 3 points helps.

Hark The Herald Angels Sing

Greetings Travellers,

History has a way of creating great leaders and martyrs. The latest in the selective few, Mark Critchley: Anti-Fascist leader went through torture and interrogation and still remained impervious to police probing for top secret information. Mark Critchley is now widely known for being a young and exuberant replacement for Terry Eagleton, and a more mainstream friendly Charlie Brooker.

It’s these figures in society who set the foundation for inspiration and a new wave of young talent. Mark Critchley is currently doing for British Culture what Akira Kurosawa did for Japanese cinema, what Jean-Luc Godard did for French New Wave Cinema and what Steven Spielberg did for Hollywood movies. So, in these new and exciting times I have decided to start my own blog – in the light of this social enlightenment figure, who historically, will be remembered in the same light of George Orwell, Robbie Williams (1998-2005) and Igmar Bergman. I will be exploring the crevasse of popular and classic culture.

Let the games begin.