Tonight, whilst Jamie was filling his Vauxhall Corsa with Unleaded diesel we heard a huge cheer coming from the Pilling Lane direction – we knew it was the colossal football megastars who once reached the round three of the FA Cup: Chorley FC.
So, we headed over to Victory Park as it was bound to me more entertaining than throwing litter onto the Friday Street Car Park. After parking up we strolled into the ‘stadium’, for free, although those who watched the entire game paid £7. We thought it would be empty, but as it turned out Chorley FC were hosting the top of the league, and Yorkshire sheep fuckers – Halifax Town. On arrival we thought it was busier and louder than usual, then when we turned the corner we saw around 1,000 people jumping up and down as Halifax had just equalised to take it to 3-3.
So we weren’t stood in the away stand we walked to the Chorley stand, but on the way we met one of Ryan’s friends from Manchester United, so we hung with him. However, nearby was a woman with her husband. This woman believed, somewhat delusional, that she had the equal rights to men at the football – what she was doing there in the first place was beyond me. It begs the question of why, if woman are socially allowed to go football matches why the government has not outlawed this heinous crime, like Iran.
She shouted out, weakly: “make the pass”, “create space” etc. Somehow, this woman must have believed she was somewhat of a genius when it comes to football as none of these footballers thought about making space or passing the ball when in trouble. Instead they thought that they would man mark their defender and allow the opponent to tackle them every time they received the ball.
This baffles me, if she is thinking that in her head, keep it there, I don’t think footballers need to be told to do their job by some small and fat 50yr old woman. The idea that spectators shout to players what their next action should be – like in a Who Wants to Be a Millionaire format Wayne Rooney has the chance to make a run into the box and attempt to slot the ball into the bottom corner, or blast the ball from the edge of the box and have a 50/50 chance of beating the goalkeeper, or play a through ball and give Dimitar Berbatov an equally expectant chance to convert. So, with so many chances ahead of the young striker he takes his dilemma to the crowd, asking for an answer to his predicament Old Trafford home supports vote by electronic remote control and then Chris Tarrant wanders onto the pitch, filmed by Danny Boyle, and gives Wayne the results.
This one woman, and fat men and women across the world have to realise that they have no control over the performance of the individual player on the pitch just by shouting “over-the-top” or “run faster”. Instead, like Halifax Town they need to get together and chant songs, thus creating energy and pace for the game.
Individual insults = struggling in oblivion
Collective chants = top of the league
