An Alternative View

I have come to the conclusion that the Brazilian World Cup 1970 goal was in fact scored by the Paul Jewell's highly respected and emulated Wigan Athletic side. Here is the official commentary.



Pass one: Leighton Baines -> Matt Jackson
Pass two: Matt Jackson -> Graham Kavanagh
Pass three: Graham Kavanagh -> Jimmy Bullard
Pass Four: Jimmy Bullard -> Graham Kavanagh
Pass Five: Graham Kavanagh -> Ian Breckin [Captain]
Dribble Past Four Players: Ian Breckin
Pass Six: Ian Breckin -> Leighton Baines
Pass Seven: Leighton Baines -> Lee McCulloch
Pass Eight: Lee McCulloch -> Jason Roberts
Pass Nine: Jason Roberts -> Nicky Eaden
GOAL: Nicky Eaden



I hope you have all seen the truth behind all the lies that have been spread for decades. God bless your soul Nicky Eaden and good luck in the sexual arts industry Paul Jewell.

Italian Football and Politics

This is an interview I have found of John Foot (author of Calcio: A History of Italian Football) talking about politics in Italian football. The interview is not heavy duty, but a further read into his book would be interesting. The questions are in inverted comma's as my Blogger account still thinks it is too cosmopolitan to be constrained by Bold and Italic lettering. The article is a little old (Juventus regarded as a major force)

'Italy emerged as a footballing power in the 1930s. How important was football to Benito Mussolini’s fascist regime? Was it associated with opposition to fascism?'

Football was very important for fascism. Mussolini helped make the sport into a mass pastime, organised rallies around games and added fascist symbols. This was particularly true with the World Cups of 1934 and 1938 and the Olympic tournament in Berlin in 1936, all of which Italy won. Radio was the main means by which people followed the game and the commentaries were extremely nationalistic, as were the reports in the press. The Battle of Highbury match with England in 1934 was presented as a kind of war, and defeat was turned into victory. The 1938 World Cup in France saw anti-fascist protests at Italian games.

However, football also presented fascism with problems. Localism contrasted with fascism’s nationalist ideology—being a fan of a club side was at odds with the whole idea of fascism. Football itself was in some ways anti-fascist in a weak sense, perhaps. Many footballers were fascists, but others became part of the resistance. The big teams in the 1930s were associated in some ways with the regime. Juventus, which won five titles in a row, were the car company Fiat’s team, and Bologna had a strong link to the fascist leadership in that town.

'Many fans believe Juventus and the Milan clubs exercise too much control over football. How true is that?'

Big business and football have always been closely linked in Italy—Pirelli, and then businessman and prime minister Silvio Berlusconi with AC Milan, Fiat with Juventus, oil interests with Inter. These three teams have carved up tournaments among themselves since the 1950s. Money talks in football and there is a lot of circumstantial evidence of what is known as the “psychological conditioning” of referees—in particular by Juventus. The relationship between Italians and referees mirrors that between Italians and the state—a relationship built on suspicion, hatred and mistrust.

Today, with the vast sums spent on TV coverage, the big clubs have an even greater control over the game. Nobody else can really win. This dominance has only ever been challenged on a few occasions—by Bologna in the 1920s and 1930s, Torino in the 1940s and the Rome clubs in the 1990s.

'In Britain it is rare for football fans to get involved in politics. But in Italy football fans have joined demonstrations. There’s been the emergence of Livorno as a left wing club. How serious is politics among the supporters?'

Politics is very serious, and it touches all parts of life. However, most of the hardcore fans are now on the right or the extreme right of the political spectrum. Extremist groups like Forza Nuova have found fertile recruiting grounds among the fanatical Ultra fans. This has led to a lot of racism and open fascism at football grounds, with anti-Semitic banners, insults directed at black players and swastikas.

Some of the left wing strongholds, such as Torino and Roma, have been taken over by the right in recent years. Little has been done about the racism. On the left, Livorno are interesting, although their Stalinism is quite hard to take and they are often simply provocative. Venice fans also led an anti-racist campaign and put up anti-war banners. The link between politics and sport in Italy has always been very strong.

'How does the economy of football work?'

In recent years the finances of football have been a grotesque parody of the Italian financial system. Clubs have gone bankrupt and been “saved” by financial accounting. New laws have been passed to allow clubs to survive despite falsifying their accounts. Scandals in football mirror those in Italian society, with corruption rife.

People are extraordinarily interested in the game, and in some ways it has replaced politics and religious belief as the main thing in people’s lives. The media deals in football almost continuously. Violence, fraud, scandal and intrigue were endemic. The system had collapsed, yet the show went on. Teams continued to play on despite bankruptcy, doping, arrests, investigations. All this was surreal and disturbing, but perhaps not all that surprising. After all, the president of the Football Federation was also a key figure in the running of AC Milan, whose president is the prime minister of Italy.

In a country where rules and laws are not only broken with impunity, but where those who do so are rewarded for their pains, it is unlikely that the most popular and the most wealthy sport would be a “happy island” of legality, peace and tranquillity.

Sometimes, during the work on this book, I felt like Malcolm McDowell in The Clockwork Orange. I was forced to watch things which have made me sick. I did not think it would be possible but, by the end, I had almost fallen out of love with football.

When footballers do not stick to the (half a) day job!

Since the dawn of football the footballer has seen other ways to entertain himself or earn a few extra bob. In far gone times being a professional footballer was second to your full-time job, unthinkable in the modern multi-billion pound game.

However, instead of working class men holding working class jobs the recent footballer has seen himself as the crooner, the rapper or the choir member, all football fans need now is to witness Phil Neville record his favourite christmas carols through the medium of beat-bopping.

Here are a few of the worst...and John Barnes.

Nottingham Forest, before winning their first Premier League title under Brian Clough and Peter Taylor released this magical version of 'The Whole World' also laid down by Aretha Franklin and Glitterman Beeton. Robbie Williams probably wishes he had heard this before taking a ribbing from O'Neill at World Cup 1998.



Kevin Keegan - Newcastle, Liverpool and err Hamburg legend, making a fair crack at a pop career. Housewifes across Britain and Europe had wet knickers when this Eurovision imposter of a song was released. Also, for added Keegan search 'Green Cross Road' and watch some beautiful acting on par with Jimmy Bullard.



Now for Mr Personality, not exactly making a living but taking a nice appearance fee - Arshavin singing woefully on Russian television.



Arshavin's terrible singing and performance can only be beaten by one money grabbing slime, El Tel. Singing on the Russell Hartey show, to the amusement of his players. Definitly messing with dynamite.



And finally, no words needed apart from 'HEY TOON, IT'S GAZZA...I GOT CHICKEN AND FISHING ROD'.

Breaking 80

Friday 16th July 2010 – The afternoon Heath Linn, 19 years old, shot a round of golf and broke eighty, a feat he had never achieved. In the grand schemes of humanity not an important event, but in the life of Heath Linn it marked a watershed moment – Heath Linn had become a golfing man.

A man who can independently, without cheating, score well, beat his opponents. Heath Linn has done this without playing golf regularly since being 17 years old. Heath Linn has unlocked potential. Heath Linn can score 77 and then go to the clubhouse and take the money of old people. Suck my dick, golf.

Golf is dead. Long live Heath.

Provided You Don't Kiss Me

Duncan Hamilton’s award winning account of Brian Clough, Peter Taylor, Nottingham Forest and himself is a blunt and honest account of a turbulent 15 years. However, due to the motives of Hamilton’s actions, ‘getting a line’ for tomorrows article, it almost seems as if he is a puppeteer manufacturing a novel.

Reading Hamilton’s account seemed familiar to watching Sergio Leone’s Dollars Trilogy…hear me out:

Peter Taylor, the steely eyed tight lipped Lee Van Cleef; Brian Clough, the younger better looking quicker on the trigger Man With No Name (Eastwood), Duncan Hamilton himself directing as if he was Sergio Leone and the corridors and field of City Ground the vast desert landscape of Leone’s movies.

Barney Ronay, in his excellent book: The Absurd Ascent of the Most Important Man in Football, makes a valid point that Hamilton falls infatuated with Clough’s persona, and throughout the books this gives an imbalanced account of Clough and Taylor’s tenure. Hamilton makes up for this with a blunt view of Clough and Nottingham Forests downfall – the fall into heavy drinking, Clough and Taylor feeling their judgement is shot – an enlightening tale of Clough selling and then not having the judgement to replace Teddy Sheringham in his final season, and Clough’s distaste for the FA. The most interesting in the book is the point at mentioned earlier, with the fall-out between Taylor and Clough.

Intelligent, easy and enjoyable to read, showing much more than just the image of Clough upheld in society, showing a kind and caring man, but also a Machiavellian character in the vein of a Shakespearean protagonist. The more subtle and equally interesting side to the story are the tales of journalism and what a journalist must do to find a story.

Q&A With Raoul Moat

Raoul Moat is in his late thirties and is on his way to heaven, he is regarded as the first person to actively go to war with the Metropolitan Police, who sound very camp, but in reality have the power to kill and attack people without being held to account. God is preparing to give away his favourite seat, because Moat would not expect anything less.

When were you happiest?
On the riverbank in Rothbury

What is your greatest fear?
Cucumbers

What is your earliest memory?
I just remember black out, then waking up in the woods and then being text the news I'd killed my ex-girlfriend and shot two others - one a fucking pig!

Which living person do you most admire, and why?
Harry Roberts...he is our friend, he kills coppers.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
shagging about

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
I've not got a quick trigger finger like 'Dirty' Harry Callaghan. The only cool Peeler

What was your most embarrassing moment?
Not exactly mine, but there is egg on the face of the North Cumbria police department.

Aside from a property, what's the most expensive thing you've bought?
Membership to Blokes Liberation Front

What is your most treasured possession?
Double barreled shotgun...lol

Where would you like to live?
Strangeways prison

If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
Raoul Moat - myself

What would your super power be?
invisibility

What makes you unhappy?
10 Police snipers cornering me between a lake and a tennis court, it sucks.

What is your most unappealing habit?
stealing cucumbers from local farms...I ain't a faggot!!!

What is your favourite book?
Free Radical - Vince Cable

What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?
Stone Cold Steve Austin WWF World Heavyweight Champion

What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Shooting coppers

To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
Gazza - I should have been there more for you pal!

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
RAOUL MOAT

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
'It wasn't me...it was the voice in my head.'

What has been your biggest disappointment?
MI5 denial of my service in the Falkland Wars.

If you could edit your past, what would you change?
Being released from prison.

When did you last cry?
In Kenya doing work for Christian Aid.

How often do you have sex?
I caught a goat the other day...must I go into detail.

What is the closest you've come to death?
LOL

Tell us a secret.
I'm a one man army, guns don't harm me.