I'm so rope they call me David Carradine

Why is Tarantino making Kill Bill 3?

The Franchise does not need to be extended. People, broadly speaking, lost interest after they had to watch My Super Ex-Girlfriend moaning for two hours and only killing two people, with very little suspense inbetween.

How many more Bills are there to kill? Bill Gates is murdered because in the past he patented something that belonged to The Bride? Bill Hicks is brought back from the dead and then killed again for an unsavoury joke? Bill Shakespeare has all his books (in the world) burnt on a massive bonfire of cut off ears because he killed off the young bride, Juliet?

Bill is dead. Carradine is dead.

Tarantino claims that he expects a 2011 release, however he has yet to write a script and we're nearing the end of 2009, he has a few ideas in his head. I don't think it's a coincidence either that the Weinstein's most profitable franchise is having another installment whilst they're on the verge of bankruptcy after bad business moves.

Why does Tarantino feel the urge to continue the Bride character? He let her wed, have a near death experience - umpteen times, made her worm food, reap her revenge and then run away with her daughter. So you'd think Tarantino would just leave her to enjoy the rest of her life, but instead he has to her more servings of revenge - a 6yr old girl who wants to avenge her mothers death, and will more than likely be 14yrs old at the time of the film release.

The film doesn't need to be made.

Instead Tarantino should try something new or return to crime thrillers. Since Kill Bill he has made a Grindhouse movie and WWII revenge story, which were both totally different and good films. Why not keep dipping his toes in different genres, people expect Tarantino to be eccentric, not reproducing the same problem three times. A Tarantino crime movie would cement that he is still a serious director among people and not a man losing his mind. People kind of expect Tarantino to make a Spaghetti Western movie, he can cast Lee Van Cleef and Samuel L. Jackson as a streetwise black man who is being hunted by a pack of redneck cowboys, led by Michael Madsen, and Van Cleef is his guardian angel and then Val Kilmer saves the day by flying in on a Boeing 707 and blowing up Texas - Different. Why not a afterlife tale, a Tarantino zombie movie would be awesome, or a Tarantino vampire movie once all the hype around Vampire movies has calmed down.

Whatever Tarantino does I hope he doesn't do what I expect. Kill the Bride.

Listen to yr Parents

The war of attrition between Blogger ltd. and Heath Linn is now over. Thus, this bad mutha fucka is back.

Lately I went to watch Shane Meadows follow up to the disappointing Somer's Town, Le Donk and Scor-Zay-Zee, and it cemented in my mind that Paddy Consindine is the best young actor in Britain. He puts in great performances in films that are made on a shoe string, Le Donk & Scor-Zay-Zee was made on £48,000 and stands out in the multi-million production The Bourne Ultimatum.

So, everyone keep on going to his films so he doesn't end up washed up and sitting in Rita and Norris' Corner Kabin.

Hollywood Studio Owners

Must know one of two, or both of something about Zombie movies:

A) The world is on the brink of a nuclear holocaust, global warming destruction or another ice age and are warning us that we have to get good at beating up and killing mutants or zombies, or both?

B) Zombie films sell.

Many people's favourite genres of movies are zombie films, don't know why, but yeah they are. Well, anyway, Hollywood have given us another Zombie movie to digest this Autumn/Winter, Zombieland. Zombieland has that dude in who's in every film you see nowadays (Adventureland, Superbad) and also has Woody Harrellson, the actor who fronted one of my favourite films, The Farrelly brother's Kingpin. Anyway, here is the trailer that looks pretty funny and pumped with shit loads of blood drooling mother fuckers.

Also this: "Shortly after finishing the filming of Zombieland, Woody Harrelson had an altercation with a TMZ photographer at New York City's La Guardia Airport. His defense was that he was still in character and thought the cameraman was a zombie"



02/10/09 (Do not know whether that is American or British release date)

Scout Niblett

There was once a person called Keith Moon, he was the fourth member of a rock band called The Who, who were once called The High Numbers as well, but, Keith Moon was known for his explosive lifestyle. Anyway, after a while of listening to The Who I started to read about the members who made the music I loved so much, my research saw me see that Keith Moon was renowned for 'avin it large and that. This, I loved. I wanted a slice of the cocaine sprinkled rocky mountain cake. I wanted to be Keith Moon.

Sadly, over time, I grew out of my phase of wanting to be Moon the Loon, instead I listened to Cat Power for many a year (two), however, only recently have I discovered you, Scout Niblett and you're more what I was looking for in my music. You're my jam on toast! My starburst when times are hard! My Hollyoaks Omnibus when hungover.

However, if I catch you flirting with Billy 'THE PRINCE' Ginger Pubes one more time I will jump on the Megabus and travel till I meet one of the edges of the world and shoot you, there will be no kiss to save you...apart from maybe Gene Simmons, if he's done making Lil' Chris the next Bono.

Freshers Round Up

A list of every awesome and cringeworthy thing I've done in the past two weeks:

1. Drank 10 bottles of cheap French lager and KO'd it before 10pm
2. Tried to steal a hoover from a flat party and been thrown out
3. Being locked in a toilet by a faulty lock, consequently getting the party shut down
4. Sneaking up on unsuspecting residents and shouting "only me"
5. Walking home from Revolution by propping myself up on the wall
6. Losing £20, to later have it given back
7. Collected 40 phone numbers for the EDL march on the 5th
8. Attempting to boot down the door of the neighbours coz I can
9. Spewing up because of the smell of someone else puking up
10. Dancing to Shimmy Shimmy Ya at 7AM by myself in the communal kitchen
11. Being awake till 9AM and watching the sun rise
12. Picking Will up by my neck when he was plastered
13. Sitting around the kitchen all day, everyday since Wednesday morning
14. Cutting my hand open, so that you can now see muscle and flesh, by hitting it on the floor after play fighting
15. Eating people's left over food they've left when gone to bed
16. Being the go-to-guy when you need directions around Manchester
17. Drinking six White Russians in about 45 minutes and not being sick
18. Falling asleep in a boring lecture
19. Not turning up for seminars coz I'm a tough guy and couldn't be arsed finding the room
20. Seeing Nick Cave and then rushing out because we couldn't afford his new book
21. Eating tinned food and pizzas for two weeks - banquet
22. Smashing my head on the stairs of Joe's building block and then having to have Anna guide me back home
23. Choking Ava coz she had beef
24. Having the girl with glasses who worked at The Imp in my globalisation class...I avoid her
25. Having my arse ripped to shreds by sub-standard toilet paper and having to go into Geoffrey Manton building on my day off (today) to steal some toilet paper


Drink Responsibly