Karl's opinion on fables: "That's the problem with them fables, they're putting animals together that wouldn't meet. I don't know where a scorpion is knockin' around with a frog."
Karl's opinion on old age: “Well, like, when you're born, you're a little baby, you're wrinkly and stuff, when you get older you sort of morph into a baby again...”
Karl's opinions on art: "Stop looking at the walls, look out the window."
Karl's view on Noah's efficency ""If I was [Noah], I would have gone, "Hang on a minute, I've just seen somethin' that looks a bit like this, let it drown", have a bit of a clear out, but he was messin' about savin' everythin'"
Karl's critique of Charles Darwin: “Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?”
Karl gets philosophical: "Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine."
"At some point, somethin has had it away with a leaf" This is Karl's explanation of an insect which has evolved to look like a leaf to protect itself from prey.
Karl on being stuck to key dates: "That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it; December 25th"
Karl on cutting open avocados- "It's a food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. If it's a hassle to get into, leave it to the experts."
Karl on his dreams of meeting Warlock Davis: "The first time I see him, I'd be a little like, what should I say, what shouldn't I say? Whereas once you get to know him I'm sure he'd be a lovely little fella."
Karl on erm...eating nob: "It is hard eating a little kangaroo knob."
Karl comes up with a solution for sea pollution: "[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful."
"I'd kick it, and I'd say 'You knob-head'." - Karl tells Ricky his response to being poisoned by an octopus
Karl on specsavers: "A dog has got human eyes."
Karl on animal entertainment: "I saw a cockroach playing Pacman."
Karl's amazed homelessness affects other races: "Walking down the street in London with Suzanne, saw a little homeless.. well I didn't see the homeless bloke right, I saw a leg stickin out of a doorway, thought 'here we go', right. Walked past it, right, you're not gonna believe this. Homeless.... chinese fella. I've never seen one of them."
"Just sort of wander about and that, and just not get seen" What Karl would do with the power of invisibility
Karl's views on the gays: "I'm still none the wiser as to why they do that"
Karl explains sex: "You build up to it, don't you? You have that bit of a chat, and you go "alright? Hows it going?". You get on an' that and then a little baby pops out."
Karl probes Stephen Merchant: “Were you a tall baby?”
Karl on holidays: "Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good."
AND THE GRAND FINALE: "I could eat a knob at night."
